Prank Calls
An old pastime of us phoneloser types is ridiculous prank calls. Here’s a collection of some of the prank calls we here an UPL have done. You can listen to our calls from PLA Radio epiosde 18, some newer calls we’ve put up, or our classic (meaning old) calls.
In June of 2008, the UPL took over PLA Radio #18. Within the episode, linear and bex0 prank call old ladies, linear’s mom, and a handful of people from craigslist ads. You can listen to the whole thing and hear all of those calls in their original context by clicking here, or you can listen to all the calls individually below (except the one to linear’s mom).
- Confused Renita
by linear
I call up a lady from the phone book to complain about how horrible it was that rbcp (aka Brad Carter) from the PLA took over the 29th issue of UPL Ezine. Apparently, Renita sucks at giving advice. Apologies for the god awful sound quality on this one. - Old Bertha
by linear
I call up another random lady to complain, but this one turns out to be at least 106 years old. Even though I fear this old lady might die on the phone as I talk to her, I try explain the terrible things that rbcp has done. She’s not very sympathetic. - Fatty Fat McFat Fuck Calls American Airlines
by linear
Southwest Airlines at one point had (and perhaps still do have) a policy that big fatties must buy two tickets in order to fly their airlines. I was curious if American Airlines had a similar fat tax. After making this call, it’s appears as if they don’t mandate an extra seat for assbaggage, but they do hate lardasses nonetheless. - Free Kitten
by linear
I don’t know what this lady’s problem was, I was just trying to get more information about the free kitten she was giving away. I asked her the same questions anyone would ask when looking for an animal but for some reason she just flips her shit. - Black Changing Table
by bex0
This lady is selling a black changing table for babies. When bex0 wants more information about how versatile it is, this lady is a real shitbag about answering her question. - Wild Animal Park
by bex0
When she sees an ad on Craigslist offering a free ride to a local animal park, bex0 has a sinking suspicion that it’s all just code for some sort of solicitation for sex. So she calls up and poses as a prostitute in order to get as much information as possible on this guy to hand over to the authorities. Unfortunately, he might have caught on to her ruse. - Sell Me That Fucking Ford (three part prank)
by linear
I call up a guy who had an ad on Craigslist, insisting his ad was for a Ford truck. He refuses to sell me the truck and is a real asshole about it. So I call back and he threatens me, then tells me to come to his office. I get lost on the way there, so 40 minutes later I call him back to get better directions. This makes him an even bigger asshole! - Confidential Carpet Cleaning
by linear
I find myself in over my head in a troublesome situation that I don’t like to go into details about. So much trouble, in fact, that I need the help of a carpet cleaning service advertising on Craigslist. I just need to make sure the guy can keep his mouth shut.
Aside from the PLA Radio prank calls above, most of are calls are from back in 2000 (you can hear those calls in the next section). We plan on adding new prank calls, and here’s a few of them just to prove we are serious.
- Prank Calling Scammers - Mystery Science Theater 3000
by Rob T Firefly
RTF and RogueClown spent some time going through email spam for the 419 scammers (aka Nigerian Scammers) who included contact phone numbers in their emails. This is one of RTF’s calls. He starts out using a generic stoner voice, but about a minute and a half in decided to change into Joel from Mystery Science Theater 3000. Evidently, the scammer isn’t a MSTie. More of the story behind this call can be found here on RTF’s blog. - You Called Me!
by linear and bex0
We conference in two random ladies. They argue breifly about who called who. They disconnect, only to be immediately called back. This time a different person (a dude) answers on one line, the same lady on the other. Then linear jumps in pretending to be a third person randomly called. The lady hangs up while linear and the other dude argue. He hangs up on linear. We try to call everyone back, but no one wants to play anymore.
When we were younger we used to hang out on fraudulent teleconferences, making prank calls. Some of them were recorded. Unfortunately, we lost the funnier onesages ago. Here are the calls that we were able to salvage. To the best of my knowledge, these calls all date from 2000 or earlier.
- Franhockenstein Bread
by Rob T Firefly
Not many people know this, but RTF is on a constant quest to find the perfect loaf of Franhockenstein bread. Nobody ever has any, though, not even 7-11. RTF claims this is the worst Hispanic accent he has ever done. - Christopher?
by Rob T Firefly
RTF said the idea was to call a random number and claim that they just made the call, not RTF. This one got all weird on him, though. - I Locked My Coat Hanger In My Car
by Rob T Firefly
This was a locksmith. He was actually pretty cool - I’m Not Dialing This Fucking Number
by Terror Eyz
We call an operator’s supervisor to complain about the rude treatment we’ve been getting by one of the employees. We fail. - Don’t Page Me Anymore
by Rob T Firefly
An average “Did you page me?” call. These are always fun.
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