United Phone Losers
UNITED PHONE LOSERS E-ZINE
issue no. 19 - May 29, 2000
this issue edited by linear

in this issue

Introduction
Written by linear

Hola, my little hax0r-phone-jedi-knights! 'Tis I, linear, here to serve you once again as Holy Mother-Fuckin' Editor! I've been gone for quite some time now, but at least I managed to get online every now and then to talk to a few of you and write some stuff for UPL018. Many thanks to RTF for taking over on the last two issues. Especially UPL018, which is probably much better than any issue I'll ever do.

You know it's a great issue when the Father-Of-All-Things-Phoneloser himself, RedBoxChiliPepper (of the Phone Losers of America), writes an article. And it's all about our favorite subject, too: Harassment! The rest of the issue could suck balls (and it does!), but having anything by rbcp totally redeems it.

We also got some frequecy-scanning info brought to you by my freind, Phiz. For more info on scanning, check out UPL006 "Scanner Fun" by Jc, or "Basic Phone Security: Making and Breaking It" in UPL018 by the Mob Boss.

And we's be havin' an article by your's truly, explaining how you can get "Family Plans" to work for you... assuming you have a family. There's even another trip to Chat Log Happy Fun Time Land! SCORE!

All this and more, and we're not even charging you!

Feel free to send any questions/comments/etc. to me, or any other UPL staff members. Your letter could end up in UPL020! And I'm sure any of the authors in this issue (or any other, for that matter) would like to hear from you too, so drop them a line as well. And for UPL020's sake, submit some articles, dammit!@#%$^ Oh yeah, nawleed's back too.

"Will The Real UPL Please Stand Up?"

--- linear

Automated Harassment
Written by RedBoxChiliPepper

Imagine this - your phone rings, you pick it up and you're greeted with a standard fax machine beep so you hang up.  Several minutes later your phone rings again and you hear a recording of a voice saying, "This is your free sample message!" and it goes into a big sales pitch.  Even more minutes pass and your phone rings again and this time it's a computerized voice saying, "ibaibaibaibaiba!"

Okay, so you're the victim of harassment.  You're not too worried because you know that the guy doing it will get bored sooner or later and it'll eventually stop.  But it doesn't stop, it gets worse and worse, day after day, 24 hours a day.  Your phone rings non-stop making it impossible for you to receive any phone calls and difficult to even make outgoing calls.  Your only defense is to turn off your ringer but this only fills up your answering machine with garbage calls so you have to turn that off as well. This never stops, the calls just keep coming in - your phone has been completely put out of commission and there's nothing you can do about it.

Most of my favorite revenge techniques have almost always involved the telephone in some way or another.  Whether it's impersonating an automated call system to flood the victim, making collect calls to their house in the middle of the night, shutting off their lines or calling up fax-back services on them, phone harassment is always something that can drive a person nuts.  But the problem is that you have to put just as much time into it as your victim spends recieving it.  Until now...

There are a growing number of web-based services available today that will call your house for you and all you have to do it put your telephone number into a web form and press the "SUBMIT" button.  That's easy enough to use to someone else's disadvantage, but you're  still putting a lot of work into pressing that submit button over and over. This file will give you a few ideas on eliminating the  need for you to be present while harassing your victim.  You can go about your daily life doing more important and productive things  while your victim's phone rings forever.  And I mean forever.  You need only spend minutes a day (if even that) keeping the process going and it'll last for months, even years.

How It Works:
First I'll explain how it's done.  All you have to do is pick a few web sites that automatically call a phone number when you put a phone number into the form and press the submit button.  Then you modify the  html, set it all up on a web site somewhere and  drive as much traffic  to your new page as you possibly can.  Easy, right?  Below I'll explain in as much detail as possible how you can accomplish this.

Finding A Service To Use:
Your first goal is to find a good web-based service that automatically calls a phone number of your choice.  There are many to choose from and I'm only going to list a few.  A simple web search should find you plenty of other prospects.
Mrwakeup.com and iping.com are the same services, just with different domain names.  Somewhere on their site they have a "free sample" form that you can use.  Messageblaster.com is a great service to use because not only is their free sample form on the main page, but if you look at the source code it's easy to modify the automated voice so it'll say anything you want it to.

The faxback.apple.com is a great service but it's a little complicated if you're a novice at writing html but it has a nice feature - it will send YOU an email everytime that it tries to fax your victim.  This way you know exactly how often their phone is ringing.  Landsend.com is even more  complicated (as far as html goes) but it's nice because a live person  will call up your victim and ask for the name of your choice.  This works out good if you want to have them call your victim's employer and make the Landsend reps say your victim's name.

Modifying The HTML:
If you're not familiar with html programming then you need to learn. It's easy as hell, especially if you're only going to be copying these web sites and not doing much else.  Print out some reference sheets (which can be found on the web) and print out the source code to a few web sites so you can get a feel of how web pages are constructed.  And whatever you do, don't try to use Microsoft's FrontPage editor to do any of this.  Only use a text editor such as Windows Notepad.

Go to the website that you're going to modify and view the source of that page.  Copy everything from the FORM tag to the /FORM tag. In this example we're going to use messageblaster.com.  This site  actually has two different forms, so make sure you copy the second form set, not the first one which is a login/password form.  You don't need that one.

You'll notice that the first form tag says method=POST action=bin/PwIsapi.dll.  The action part is a problem because since you won't be operating your modified script from messageblaster.com's own site (unless you're an f-rad hacker!) you'll have to add in their domain into this part of the form.  So make your action read like this:

action="http://www.messageblaster.com/bin/PwIsapi.dll"

Note that I'm leaving off most of the bracket thingies to make converting this file into html easier for linear.  You're welcome, linear!  If I don't mention a particular input tag, don't touch it!  Just leave it as it is.  You can delete all the annoying formatting tags like FONT COLOR FACE, etc.  And also the text like "Phone Number:" and stuff.

Right after the part where it says "Phone Number:" there will be an INPUT tag a few lines down that looks like this:

input type="text" name="PWF_PHONE1" size="15"

You're going to want to change this line so that it will have your victim's phone number in that form, but nobody will be able to see it.  To do this, change this line to look like this:

input type="hidden" name="PWF_PHONE1" value="415-555-1212"

You've changed the input TYPE to "hidden" so that the casual web surfer will not see this part of the form.  You removed the SIZE tag since it's invisible and it doesn't matter what size it is and you've added a VALUE tag which contains your victim's telephone number.  I recommend putting your own home phone number there for now so that you can test this out once you're done modifying everything.  The next input tag is for your email address and it looks like this:

input type="text" name="PWF_EMAIL" size="15"

That's no good, make it looks like this:

input type="hidden" name="PWF_EMAIL" value="anybody@anywhere.com"

Once again, you've turned this into a hidden tag, removed the size and entered in an email address since messageblaster.com wants an email address to spam their users at.  Hey, why not put your victim's email address in  there too?  The next part is a bit more complicated and involved the SELECT tag. Since you want your html to be as clean and invisible as possible, we're going to eliminate the SELECT feature and replace it with a standard INPUT tag. Here's what you see:

select name="PWF_BODY"
option value="This is a sample REMINDER message from MessageBlaster
reminding you that registration for the HTML class closes on March 15."
selected Reminder /option

And you'll want to replace it with the following:

input type="hidden" name="PWF_BODY" value="Word to yo gerbil"

Of course, don't forget the brackets before and after this.  You've changed the SELECT tag into a hidden input tag, keeping the same name of "PWF_BODY" and added your own new message in the value tag.  Messageblaster will never know the difference between a SELECT tag and an INPUT tag.  The value can be changed from "Word to yo gerbil" to anything you like and when it calls your victim up at home they'll hear a computerized voice announcing whatever you type in there.  Wheeeee!  Now all that's left is the SUBMIT button.  Messageblaster uses an image for their button but to keep things easy, we're just going to change that to a standard boring gray SUBMIT button.  You see:

input type="image" name="PWF_ACTION_2" src="/MB/images/home2/send.gif" border="0" alt="Send"

Let's change that line to:

input type="submit" name="PWF_ACTION_2" value="CLICK HERE TO ENTER!"

So now you're done modifying the html!  Don't forget to leave the /FORM tag on the end of all this.  Your completed form should look like this:

<form method="POST" action="http://www.messageblaster.com/bin/PwIsapi.dll"
name="PForm2">
<input type="hidden" name="PWFORM" value="36">
<input type="hidden" name="PWF_PWP" value="PWP">
<input type="hidden" name="PWF_SESSION_ID" value="">
<input type="hidden" name="PWF_PHONE1" value="415-555-1212">
<input type="hidden" name="PWF_EMAIL" value="anybody@anywhere.com">
<input type="hidden" name="PWF_BODY" value="Word to yo gerbil">
<input type="submit" name="PWF_ACTION_2" value="CLICK HERE TO ENTER!">
</form>

Now turn this bit of html into a full html document by adding the appropriate tags on the top and bottom of your page, name it index.html and upload it to a web space provider.  I prefer tripod.com myself because they give you a nice,clean domain name like yourname.tripod.com.  But any provider will work. Get it up on the web, go to your new page and click on the "CLICK HERE TO  ENTER!" button.  If all goes well, you'll be taken to a page on messageblaster.com that says something like, "Congratulations! You've just  sent your first message using MessageBlaster!"  In a few seconds your phone will ring and an automated voice will tell you you're getting a message and  then it'll say, "Word to yo gerbil!"

Final Touches:
You'll want to make good use of your web space and get a lot of people to click on your submit button.  On my page, I use the following message before the button:  You must be 18 years or old to view the pictures in this archive! This section is intended for mature audiences only and if you're under the age of 18 you may not proceed.  Click below to get started!

This leads your web visitors to believe that they're going to get to see a bunch of porn for FREE and of course they click on the button only to see a congratulations message from messageblaster.  What I've always done is set up four separate sections on my page using four different services but all of them are set up to call the same telephone number.  This way, the person visiting your page will try all four selections before giving up which will make your victim's phone ring four times instead of just once.

Getting A Shitload Of Visitors:
Now that you have your web page set up, you need to get a lot of people to visit it so your victim's phone will ring non-stop.  Obviously, listing your site in a bunch of search engines isn't going to get you much traffic.  So we just have to resort to spam.  If you theme your page around porn like I do, you'll need to advertise to a bunch of perverts. And what better place to find a pervert than on IRC?

All you have to do is get on a large network (like efnet or dalnet), list all the channels containing "sex" "pics" or "!" and join 4 or 5 of those  channels, preferably the ones that have a LOT of people in them. Now using mIRC's ON JOIN command, you set it up so every time a person joins the room, they get a private message from you advertising your site.  Most will ignore your message but some will visit.  My messages usually say something along the lines of, "Hi, I just set up a huge porn archive on my personal web  server.  You can view it by going to http://bigasspornarchive.tripod.com. There are no ads or popups."

I recommend going into the kiddie porn channels to advertise because not only are you wasting the time of your victim, you're wasting the time of people who look at kiddie porn.  I would make a section on my page that claimed to contain a directory of kiddie porn and it would state, "If you are over the age of 17, you MAY NOT look at the pictures in this archive or you're violating federal law!  You must be a minor to view kiddie porn!!" I'm sure all the horny middle-aged men heeded my warning.


How Well Does This Work?
When I was testing all this automated harassment out, I did it on a person's phone whose lines I had access to so that I could listen in and see how much their phone rang.  By only sitting on IRC in 4 or 5 channels, I managed to make their phone ring NON STOP for 6 months straight.  And all I had to do was keep my IRC connection going 24 hours a day.  For awhile I used Apple's faxback service which would automatically email my hotmail account whenever my victim's phone rang and I would get an average of 2 emails PER MINUTE.

Even when I would lose my IRC connection for a day or two, the phone calls would continue because these perverts on IRC would assume my page was having difficulties and bookmark it so they could visit it again later.  I also put a lot of good keywords in the meta tags on my page so that people searching through tripod's site would find me.

My victims were helpless.  They changed their number and I got the new one, modified my web page with their new number and there was absolutely nothing they could do to stop it.  They called the phone company and had someone out to check their lines, they changed their number again and they called the cops but nothing did any good. Their phones were completely useless to them during my testing phase.

All this and my only efforts were to check my IRC connection every day as I  checked email and rejoin a few of the channels that I'd been kicked out of for spamming.  Just think of the carnage that could be caused by someone putting some effort into something like this.  You could set up several pages of automated forms using every web-based call-back service available.  You could set each one up to call a different number related to your victim.   Call their employers at work and home, call their relatives, call their neighbors and call them on their home and cellular phone.  And every person you called would be tormented by your victim's name in a computerized voice. You could effectively destroy someone's social life with this little prank.

Web-Based Paging:
If you have your victim's pager number, it wouldn't be too hard to figure out who their pager provider was.  Using that information, you could just go to  the provider's web site and find the form they use for paging their users.  I don't think there are any providers out there who DON'T offer web-based paging of their customers.  Just modify the form with hidden tags, put your victim's number into the VALUE tag and set it up on your web page.  You can make their pager beep non-stop for a few years too.

It would be really cool if there was an easy way to pick a pager exchange and page random pager owners in that exchange with your victim's phone number. This way your victim would be called by a ton of people all day and night saying, "You paged me?"  The only way I can think of to do this is if the  paging company's web site asked for the pager number in three parts - area  code, prefix and suffix.  Then you could turn the first two parts into hidden tags and keep the last one available.  On your page you could write next to it, "please enter your 4 digit authorization code" and perverted users would try to be sneaky hackers by entering in 4 random numbers into that part of your page.  That's just an idea, though, there has to be a better way.

Anonymous Emailers:
Another obvious way to annoy your victim would be to use a web-based anonymous email form to automatically email them garbage messages each time someone clicked on your button.  Personally I think email bombing is  pointless, though. How hard is it for your victim to highlight a bunch of identicle emails and press the "delete" key?  Definitely not as effective as making their phone ring all day and night.

Rerouting Phone Numbers:
You can cause a lot of confusion by rerouting phone calls to your victim.  All you need to do is pick a business that you think gets a lot of phone  calls throughout the day, then call up phone company repair and say something like, "Hi, we have some people in here today rewiring our whole phone system and the phones are going to be off all day.  Could you forward the calls to our other office until further notice?" and give them your victim's number.

Of course, this won't last very long.  The company whose lines you've forwarded will notice that they're not getting any phone calls and will  call the phone company to ask what's going on.

A better way, although slightly more difficult, is to forward a company's  toll-free number to your victim.  This involves calling up AT&T at 800-222-0400 and asking them who the company's toll-free provider is - AT&T  will even give you the provider's customer service number.  Then you just  call up customer service and tell them that you want your toll-free number to ring at a different location.  Usually they'll change it with no questions  asked.  It takes considerably longer for a company to figure this out so it  lasts a lot longer than just calling up repair and forwarding their lines.

In Closing:
In closing I'd just like to say that you're a terrible person if you actually try anything I've described in this article.  No person deserves this amount  of torture no matter what they've done to you.  (Excluding my test subject, of course!)  And also, you can probably get into a lot of trouble if you do this to someone for a year and then get caught.  Your weakest link might be some guy on IRC getting curious about not seeing the porn, looking at the  source code and calling your victim to ask him if he's gotten a lot of calls. From there it wouldn't be too hard for them to figure out who you are from your IP address and your ISP's cooperation.

If you have any comments about this article or if you want to tell me how much I'm going to hell, visit my webpage at http://www.phonelosers.org/rbcp/

--- RedBoxChiliPepper


Family Plan Scam
Written by linear

Most cellular phone companies are coming out with "Family Plans" (and by most I mean some, and by some I mean one or two, and by one or two I mean definitely one, possibly another one). The plan is usually something like everyone in the family (up to four or five people) gets their own cell phone. Then you get a certain amount of minutes each to make calls and you get charged extra for evrery call over the amount of minutes you are given (like virtually every other cellular plan). If you call anyone in your family on their own super-neato personnal cell-phones, you don't waste any of your minutes or get charged extra. But what allows us to scam these plans, is that the same goes if you call your house - no waste of minutes, no charge.

But what a minute, linear, how does this enable us to scam these fun-for-the-whole-familia "Family Plans"?

You see, a lot of us have the luxury of two (or more) phone lines. Usually one for normal calls, and an extra one just for our internet-connection (since we have the tendency to stay online for 63 hours straight). Anyway, we probably don't use this second internet-connection line for incoming calls.

Dammit, linear! That doesn't asnwer my question at all, you son of a bitch!@#$% What's all this nonsense got to do with scamming those top-rate "Family Plans"?

You should have a pretty good idea of what I'm getting to at this point, but I'll elaborate just for you, my little phone-scamming cupcake!

First, have a Sunday-Family-Fun-Day and sign up for one of these Family Plans. When they ask for your home phone number, give them the number to your internet-connection line. Get everything else all setup and do all the shitty paperwork and what-not. Once everything is finalized and you all walk out with your very own super f-rad cell-phones, make your internet-connection line forward all incoming calls to an operator. In most areas you can setup call forwarding by dialing 72# (or *72) plus the number you want to forward calls to (0, in this case. Or 1-800-OPERATOR, if you prefer). Then if you need to disable call forwarding later you just dial 73# (or *73). If this method doesn't work in your area, I'm sure you can just call an operator and tell them that you need to have all calls to your line forwarded to your "office" at 1-800-673-2867 [1-800-OPERATOR]. For some reason I doubt telling them that "0" is your office number will work.

Ah-ha! I think I'm getting it, linear! But, uhm... Wait, no, I'm lost. Why the hell would I want to do all this?

Well, it's quite simple, really. Now, when you call your internet-connection line from your cell-phone, you'll get an operator, and you can tell her to connect you to a local number!

But I can call a local number myself, jackass! Why the hell would I want to go through all the trouble of dialing my house and dealing with some stupid operator just to get a local call? Why, linear, why?!?

So you don't waste all your cell-phone's minutes or get a huge phone bill just for making local calls on your cell-phone! See, your cell-phone  service thinks you called your house, but then your house gave you an  operator, and she connects you to a some other number, all the while your cell still thinks your talking to someone at your house! No minutes wasted, no charge! Understand?

Oooooh! I get it! Wow, that's amazing linear! I'm going to go do it right now!@$#%

Hugs and Kisses,
--- linear

Phiz's Scanner Guide
Written by phizban the dark elf

Where to start....there's so much fun shit you can do with a scanner it's difficult where to start...well I guess I'll start with the basics, here goes an I hope this article doesn't suck.

Buying A Scanner
Shit fool to start scanning you gotta have a scanner... or something that picks up the local radio waves. There's about a million different models, Rat Shack, Bearcat, Tiger, etc.. Personally I have a pro-90 rat shack model trunk tracker (we'll cover trunk tracking later). What you need to decide first is what kind of range do I want my scanner to get? I recommend at least 800mhz or something that can be modified to 800mhz, why because that's where all the fun shit is... you'll see. Another thing you need to decide is what are you going to do with your scanner? Have it sit in your room or are you gonna want to carry it or what. For the serious field phreak I highly recommend a handheld model. You can run with it an shit. If you're kinda antisocial get a base set. Also there's tones of shit you can buy for your scanner too, the first thing I recommend is a new antennae. The antennae that comes with your scanner is cool, but if you get a larger antennae most of the time you can get a farther range on a specific frequency with better clarity.

Well, I Bought the Fukin' Thing, Now What Do I Do With It?
Yay, now you have your own 200 dollar piece of shit. What to do with it? Well if you can find a modification for it... mod it fool. Turn that shitty police scanner into a cell fone frequency scanner, in some models all you have to do is change around a couple of wires in others you have to do a complete overhaul. Mod'ing a scanner is fun, especially if you like to solder shit, unfortunately there are so many mods's for scanners I'm not going to include any an I'll let you find them on your own... its easy.

Now That I Have Some Freq Ranges, What's Cool To Listen To?
The answer to that is simple... everything! You can listen to the fired dept, the police, an ambulance, your neighbor.... last one caught your eye, didn't it? Yes you too can be a nosey little spy with your scanner. Wee. Portable fonez are by far the easiest to scan. Here's a freq list for most portables (most of these freqs where borrowed from someone but I forgot who):

           1            46.61O           49.670
           2            46.63O           49.845
           3            46.670           49.860
           4            46.710           49.770
           5            46.730           49.875
           6            46.770           49.830
           7            46.830           49.890
           8            46.870           49.930
           9            46.930           49.990
          10            46.970           46.970
                        43.72            48.76
                        43.74            48.84
                        43.82            48.86
                        43.84            48.92
                        43.92            49.02
                        43.96            49.28
                        44.12            49.36
                        44.16            49.40
                        44.18            49.46
                        44.20            49.50
                        44.32
                        44.36
                        44.40
                        44.46
                        44.48

CH        BASE      HANDSET         CH        BASE      HANDSET
--      -------     -------         --      -------     -------

01      902.100     926.100         31      903.000     927.000
02      902.130     926.130         32      903.030     927.030
03      902.160     926.160         33      903.060     927.060
04      902.190     926.190         34      903.090     927.090
05      902.220     926.220         35      903.120     927.120
06      902.250     926.250         36      903.150     927.150
07      902.280     926.280         37      903.180     927.180
08      902.310     926.310         38      903.210     927.210
09      902.340     926.340         39      903.240     927.240
10      902.370     926.370         40      903.270     927.270
11      902.400     926.400         41      903.300     927.300
12      902.430     926.430         42      903.330     927.330
13      902.460     926.460         43      903.360     927.360
14      902.490     926.490         44      903.390     927.390
15      902.520     926.520         45      903.420     927.420
16      902.550     926.550         46      903.450     927.450
17      902.580     926.580         47      903.480     927.480
18      902.610     926.610         48      903.510     927.510
19      902.640     926.640         49      903.540     927.540
20      902.670     926.670         50      903.570     927.570
21      902.700     926.700         51      903.600     927.600
22      902.730     926.730         52      903.630     927.630
23      902.760     926.760         53      903.660     927.660
24      902.790     926.790         54      903.690     927.690
25      902.820     926.820         55      903.720     927.720
26      902.850     926.850         56      903.750     927.750
27      902.880     926.880         57      903.780     927.780
28      902.910     926.910         58      903.810     927.810
29      902.940     926.940         59      903.840     927.840
30      902.970     926.970

Those freqs can be found almost anywhere! The next best thing to scan, which you usually have to have a modified scanner to get, is cell fone freqs... Here's some freqs:

GTE AIRFONE  all stations on am single sideband (A3A)
32 channels are assigned to each transmission site using
6khz channel spacing.  below are the lowest frequencies used
for each site.

ABAJO PEAK UT        945.204       ALBUQUERQUE NM  945.804
ATLANTA GA           945.404       AUSTIN TX       945.204
BOSTON MA            945.204       BRIDGETON MO    944.604
BURLINGAME CA        945.204       CHARLESTON SC   944.604
CHARLESTON WV        944.204       CHICAGI IL      945.804
DELTA UT             944.204       DENVER CO       944.604
DES MOINES IA        944.204       FORT WAYNE IN   945.204
GRAND ISLAND NE      944.404       HAWTHORNE NV    945.604
HOUSTON TX           945.404       IRVING TX       944.804
JAMACIA NY           945.204       KALMATH FALS OR 945.884
LAS VEGAS NV         945.404       LOS ANGELES CA  944.604
MERIDIAN MS          945.604       MIAMI FL        944.404
MOHANAS TX           945.004       NASHVILLE TN    944.404
NEW ORLEANS LA       945.004       ORLANDO FL      945.004
PHOENIX AZ           944.804       PITTSBURGH PA   944.804
SEATTLE WA           944.604       SHREVEPORT LA   945.804
SPRINGFIELD MO       945.404       TALLAHASSE FL   944.804
WASHINGTON DC        944.604       WILMINGTN NC    945.204
WOODWARD OK          945.604       NATIONWIDE CHNL 899.000

CHNL SPACING EV 6KHZ  944.204,944.210....last chnl 10 kHz
above previous.

And next up on the fun list is... fast food freqs:

030.8400   ARBY'S
031.0000   ARBY'S
154.5700   ARBY'S
457.5500   ARBY'S
479.2500   ARBY'S
467.7625   BESS EATON DONUT CLERK (I)
457.5375   BESS EATON DONUT CUSTOMER (R)
154.5700   BIG BOY CLERK (I)
467.8250   BIG BOY CLERK (I)
030.8400   BIG BOY CUSTOMER (R)
457.6000   BIG BOY CUSTOMER (R)
030.8400   BURGER KING
031.0000   BURGER KING CORPORATION
100.0000   BURGER KING (PRIVATE LINE)
103.5000   BURGER KING (PRIVATE LINE)
110.9000   BURGER KING (PRIVATE LINE)
114.8000   BURGER KING (PRIVATE LINE)
127.3000   BURGER KING (PRIVATE LINE)
154.5700   BURGER KING
170.3050   BURGER KING CLERK
30.84000   BURGER KING CUSTOMER
457.5500   BURGER KING CUSTOMER
457.5625   BURGER KING
457.5750   BURGER KING
457.6000   BURGER KING
457.8250   BURGER KING
460.8875   BURGER KING
461.5375   BURGER KING CUSTOMER (R)
463.2875   BURGER KING CORPORATION
465.8875   BURGER KING CLERK
467.7750   BURGER KING CLERK
467.7875   BURGER KING CLERK
467.8000   BURGER KING CLERK
467.8250   BURGER KING CLERK
031.0000   CHICK FIL A
170.3050   CHICK FIL A
030.8400   DAIRY QUEEN
154.5700   DAIRY QUEEN
033.4000   DUNKIN DONUTS
082.5000   DUNKIN DONUTS (PRIVATE LINE)
100.0000   DUNKIN DONUTS (PRIVATE LINE)
114.8000   DUNKIN DONUTS (PRIVATE LINE)
127.3000   DUNKIN DONUTS (PRIVATE LINE)
457.5500   DUNKIN DONUTS
467.7750   DUNKIN DONUTS
031.0000   FOSTER FREEZE
170.3050   FOSTER FREEZE
030.8400   HARDEE'S
031.0000   HARDEE'S
035.0200   HARDEE'S
151.6850   HARDEE'S
151.8050   HARDEE'S
154.5700   HARDEE'S
154.6000   HARDEE'S
170.3050   HARDEE'S
457.5500   HARDEE'S
457.5750   HARDEE'S
460.8875   HARDEE'S
461.1125   HARDEE'S
461.7125   HARDEE'S
466.1125   HARDEE'S
033.4000   JACK IN THE BOX
154.5400   JACK IN THE BOX
469.0250   JACK IN THE BOX
030.8200   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
030.8400   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
031.0000   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN CUSTOMER
033.4000   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
082.5000   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN (PRIVATE LINE)
088.5000   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN (PRIVATE LINE)
123.0000   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN (PRIVATE LINE)
154.5400   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
154.5700   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
162.2000   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN (PRIVATE LINE)
170.3050   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN CLERK
457.5375   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
457.5875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN CUSTOMER
457.6000   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
460.8875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
461.0875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
462.1625   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
462.7500   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
462.7625   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
464.0875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
465.8875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
467.8125   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN CLERK
467.8875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
468.3875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
469.0875   KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN
030.8400   MCDONALD'S
031.0000   MCDONALD'S
033.1400   MCDONALD'S
033.4000   MCDONALD'S
033.7150   MCDONALD'S
035.0200   MCDONALD'S
035.1200   MCDONALD'S (BUSINESS)
067.7750   MCDONALD'S CUSTOMER
070.2450   MCDONALD'S CUSTOMER
071.1050   MCDONALD'S CUSTOMER
088.5000   MCDONALD'S (PRIVATE LINE)
100.0000   MCDONALD'S (PRIVATE LINE)
107.2000   MCDONALD'S (PRIVATE LINE)
141.3000   MCDONALD'S (PRIVATE LINE)
151.7150   MCDONALD'S
151.7750   MCDONALD'S
151.8950   MCDONALD'S
154.4900   MCDONALD'S CLERK
154.5400   MCDONALD'S
154.5700   MCDONALD'S
154.5800   MCDONALD'S CLERK
154.6000   MCDONALD'S
154.7000   MCDONALD'S
169.4450   MCDONALD'S
170.2450   MCDONALD'S
170.2500   MCDONALD'S
170.3050   MCDONALD'S
171.1050   MCDONALD'S
171.9050   MCDONALD'S
192.8000   MCDONALD'S (PRIVATE LINE)
457.5500   MCDONALD'S
461.0375   MCDONALD'S CUSTOMER
463.2875   MCDONALD'S CUSTOMER
464.0125   MCDONALD'S
464.5125   MCDONALD'S
466.0375   MCDONALD'S CLERK
467.7750   MCDONALD'S
468.2875   MCDONALD'S CLERK
469.0125   MCDONALD'S
469.5125   MCDONALD'S CLERK
030.8400   MRS WINNERS DRIVE UP
030.8400   TACO BELL CUSTOMER
151.4000   TACO BELL (PRIVATE LINE)
154.5700   TACO BELL CLERK
162.2000   TACO BELL (PRIVATE LINE)
173.8000   TACO BELL (PRIVATE LINE)
457.5375   TACO BELL
457.5500   TACO BELL
460.8875   TACO BELL
461.0375   TACO BELL
461.0875   TACO BELL
461.5375   TACO BELL
464.9625   TACO BELL
465.8875   TACO BELL CLERK
466.0375   TACO BELL
466.0875   TACO BELL
466.5375   TACO BELL
468.3875   TACO BELL
469.9625   TACO BELL
030.8400   WENDY'S
031.0000   WENDY'S
049.8300   WENDY'S CUSTOMER
049.8900   WENDY'S CLERK
100.0000   WENDY'S (PRIVATE LINE)
110.9000   WENDY'S (PRIVATE LINE)
154.5700   WENDY'S
170.3050   WENDY'S
457.5375   WENDY'S
460.8875   WENDY'S

461.0875   WENDY'S
461.8125   WENDY'S
465.8875   WENDY'S
466.0875   WENDY'S
468.3875   WENDY'S
461.8125   WHITE CASTLE
461.8125   WHITE CASTLE CUSTOMER
466.8125   WHITE CASTLE CLERK
170.2450   WIRELESS MICS
170.3050   WIRELESS MICS
171.1050   WIRELESS MICS
171.9050   WIRELESS MICS

Yay....

OK, I Have These Freqs And I Can Listen To These Fools, How Is This Fun?
This is great you can do anything from blackmail people, to call their houses and jump in the conversation, giggle, ok I'm tired ill write more later. Lates for now

--- phizban the dark elf

Free Food From Fast Food Restaurants
Written by Amer1can Zer0

Explained
Okay, this prank will basically allow you to get free fast food from anywhere.  It works all the time, if you don't use it too much.  Maybe once a month from each fast food place.  You can usually get by with this once or so a month.  Try it at as many different fast food restaurants as you wish. So far I have only tried it at Booger Kunt and McDickels.


Step-By-Step
First pick a fast food restaurant to fuck over.  This should be one you haven't been to recently, or that you haven't done this to in a while. Then, look up their number in the phone book and write it down in a special notepad! If you do that for every place to do this to, you won't need to keep looking the numbers up. After you find the number, plan what you are going to say. Say something like "I was just at your restaurant and I ordered a large coke, a cheese burger, and a large fry.  But instead you gave me a fish  burger and a small fry."  Now, make sure you tell them you ordered something big, but you got something smaller in return because then they will give you a coupon worth a larger amount. Then they'll ask for your name and address. Tell them it and they'll send it to your house.  You may want to make a fake name.  Then in 1 week or less you should have your free coupon.  Its easy as that!

               --- Amer1can Zer0

How To Burn A Computer From The Inside Out
Written by Bor

Ingredients:
  1. 3.5" floppy disk of any brand.
  2. One VERY small piece of magnesium
  3. One Eyedropper
  4. Water to put in the eyedropper of course.


Instructions:
  1. Open the floppy disk carefully. Make sure that you'll be able to put it back together once you're done doing what you're going to do.
  2. Put the VERY small piece of magnesium on one side of the inside of the disk.
  3. Put your water in the eyedropper, and put one or two drops of water on the other side of the disk.
  4. This is the most important part to make sure that you won't get your ass burned. Put the disk together, but make sure that the water and the magnesium DO NOT TOUCH. If they touch, when that bitch sizzles, run away... fast.
  5. Now that you have the disk put together, find the computer that you want to destroy.
  6. Take the disk, and oh so carefully insert it into the floppy disk drive.
  7. RUN!!!
  8. Now from the computer you should see a very bright white fire, when the disk begins to spin. This will without a doubt fry most of the components inside the computer, and will make the computer impossible to use.
  9. DON'T GET CAUGHT.


Remember. You shouldn't do anything that I wrote about above. It was just for joking purposes only. I would have said eductaional,  but, c'mon.

--- Bor


Follow-Up: File Sharing Exploit
Written by Jolly Spamhead

Recently I have been informed that some people are having an issue with the file sharing exploit article I wrote for UPL018. I know the problem and solution, so try the jolly spamhead super hacker dos run box way...:P

First off make sure Log On To Network is checked in your dial up networking box (Some ISP's tell u to turn it off so u can't do this exploit so tell them to go fuck themselves!!)

Once you scan for a ip with file sharing on (20) goto the run box and type in the following...

net view \\ip.add.re.ss

U should get the following

This will show you any open shares on the target machine as well if it is password protected. If there ARE any open shares it will also nicely provide you with the names of those shares. You should see something like this:

Shared resources at \\xxx.xx.xxx.xx

Share name Type Used as Comment
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

c Disk
d Disk
Utilities Disk
The command completed successfully.


The one you are looking for is the C share but it often can be another name.

Next, you want to make that system part of your local network which is done with the command:

net use x: \\ip.add.re.ss\c

That maps your X drive to the victims C drive assuming their drive isn't password protected. If you find the drive IS password protected, just skip it for now and move on. You can brute force the password later if you want to but I don't think its worth it (We are looking for irc lamers who forgot to turn file sharing off not WIN NT Guru's remember?). ;)

You can now open up your windows explorer and browse the mapped remote drive at will...and remember to disconnect (Right click on the drive x) once you get tired of fucking with their system, and make sure all other internet proggy's besides maybe ostro are not going to get a better connect rate.

Peace and power to all that are down with Jolly Spamhead!

--- Jolly Spamhead


Running From The Law
Written by Letter God

At some time in your life, you may find yourself in a situation where you'll need to run to avoid being sent to prison. Now, I don't mean "running from the law" as in a car chase, I mean it as in you've done something that will bring you jail time and you're pretty sure you're going to get caught. This is no easy decision. Some people couldn't stand to leave their family and friends. Don't make the choice lightly. But if you do decide that you're going to run, there are a few things you should do to prepare. First, you should figure out what exactly your situation is. For most people, this will serve as a guide in case you get in some trouble. But others are already in a situation where jail is more imminent, such as those on probation who can't seem to live crime-free (I feel you on that.) The latter actually has advantages, because you have time to prepare for the inevitable. But before you continue, you should find out how much trouble you can get into for violating probation (like if you have a suspended sentence on your head.) Anyway, once you know these consequences (or if you're one lucky members of the former group), it's time to prepare. The first thing you need to have is a car. Even if you don't have a license, or you can only afford a '78 Corolla, get a car that runs. Without a car, the rest of this is going to be really hard. Not impossible, but hard. If you are rich enough to be able to choose what kind of car you're going to get, get something generic and common, like maybe a Ford Taurus, Honda Accord, or a Toyota anything. If you're really cool, get a nice full-size sedan or even better, a large sport coupe (base model, not a flashy one) like a Cougar, Monte Carlo, or T-Bird. These last three are fast but common, and can hold pretty much cargo. I'd avoid trucks, vans, and SUV's because they're big, slow, inmanuverable, and get shit gas mileage. Now that you've got a car, you need to equip it. Get a large backpack or duffel bag, then get some versatile, durable clothes and put them in. Get at least 2-3 pairs. Also get some T-shirts, socks, underwear, maybe a jacket, and some boots. Boots are better than shoes because they are versatile and durable, plus waterproof, warmer, etc. Add a hat, if you're the hat-wearing type. OK, now you've got clothing covered. Get a couple of warm blankets. An air mattress is nice. So is a small tent, unless you have a big ass car you can sleep in. Now you'll also need a knife or two, and I'd also recommend a handgun. If you get caught with it you'll go to jail, but if you get caught for anything you'll go to jail, so that doesn't really matter unless you're stupid and flash the gun and get arrested for that. If you don't like guns, whatever, you'll be OK without one. Get some canned food or delicious MRE's and put them in the bag. Put your now-bulging bag in the trunk. If you don't already have it, get some Fix-It-Flat and a 5-gallon can of gas, and any other tools you have (tools are always useful.) A few fake-ids are great, even if they're shitty. You can do a lot with a photocopy of a driver's license and social security card on a piece of paper (carefully edited, of course.) The final and most important ingredient is cash. Get as much as you can, cash only because they'll be watching your checking and credit card accounts for activity. Consider keeping your money on yourself in case the car gets stolen or you have to run and can't get to the car or something. Money will get you anything. Now you're ready, unless you're too poor even for that '78 Corolla. If you can't get a car, you have to be ready to steal one. Pick one out, one near your house (another near work too) and try to get the keys for it. If not, learn about hot-wiring or find a pre-1985 Toyota, find a pre-1985 Toyota key, file it down, and now it'll start most pre-1985 Toyota's. Don't forget to test. This actually does work, there's also a whole file on it out there somewhere. I doubt there are many people who have the bad luck to not have a car and not be able to get a set of keys anyway, but I don't discriminate based on financial equity. Onto the act. This is simpler. Get in your car and go. Get the hell out of the state, the country if you did something really bad and there's going to be a FBI manhunt or something. If you have time, put stolen plates on the car, preferably ones that won't come up stolen, even better ones from the same make and model of car. Now, I live where I can get out of the state in an hour or less going two different directions. If you live east of the Mississippi, you can most likely do this in 2 hours or less. If you live in some wack state like Wyoming (Wyoming is the worst state in the Union, by the way) with a population density of 1 person per million square miles, then hopefully you choose a route so sparse no one will even see you. Anyway, the main thing is be slick. Don't speed, don't swerve, don't play the radio loud, don't be stupid. Don't attract attention. But don't waste time. Drive non-stop (within reason) until you're out. It's best if you're gone before they even know it. Now, let's say you're an idiot and get pulled over by the cops for speeding. Although getting in a police chase is stupid, your 10% or so chance of getting away is better than the 100% chance of going to jail when the cop runs the plates and gets big letters on the screen the say "HE IS A FUGITIVE. GET HIM." If you're near the state line, go for it, but remember that you'll have to ditch the cops at some point, this isn't Bonnie & Clyde, cops in hot pursuit CAN cross state lines. If you can't get out of the state, you need to ditch the car and steal another, or at least a new set of plates. Then get out of the state ASAP. An interesting alternative if you fear roadblocks is to take an alternative, non-direct, non-freeway route. This always can confuse the men-in-blue. Well, this is getting too long, so good luck with that fugitive status, and remember, use common sense.

--- Letter God
 


Phreaked
Written by Twisted Faith

When I first got into phreaking I thought that I was going to be like James Bond. Always on the go, dodging those damn Soviet Union spys and out smarting them with my super secret toys. It didn't take me long to find out that its more like dodging the Seven-Eleven guy and his gang of sand elf's from kicking my ass out of the store because I had a backpack. When I went in search of all those nifty toys I heard about, all I found was one site after the other that had about a million Flooders, pingers, dingers, voodoo-hoodoo things that make your eyes go pop, but never worked. All the information I found on phreaking was either watered down to piss or so damn old there talking about how fast there 9600 modems are.

I read allot of garbage before I figured out that my newly found hobby wasn’t so easy as I first thought. Theres allot that goes into being a phreak, and none of that is getting 6 gigs of warez and spamming the hell out of somebody’s channel to make 20cents... I started to get really upset with the phreak scene. And I think it was because I came into the scene around mid-1998, the same time a lot of E-zines closed down. But the appeal of being some cool James Bond type character was still there.

Now I never really gave up on the scene. Just disappointed I didn't get my own gadget man like Bond did. So I became my own "Q", and I'm going to list some items that I own and carry around with me wherever I go, and maybe they might inspirer you with your hobby.


List
  • Micro Recorder: I've gottn' a hold of some redbox tones and recorded them on my Olympus Pearlcorder s713. I wouldn't put to much faith into redboxing anymore because about 97% of all the payphones I’ve found mute the mic ‘til you have money in the hopper and have already paid for you call. But have one around to record your call's so people can hear how 3133t0 you are when you prank call you exgirlfriend.
  • Beige box: I've found out that the smaller the phone you use, the less you look like a idiot. And I should know, the First BeigeBox I made was a old phone I stole from my grandma, one of those phone's with the 4 foot buttons. Imagine me standing out side with  a phone bigger then my head boxing a call - "Why no officer, I was just walking to my local youth group and I, I, I, oh shit." I've found a lot of cool things at my local Radio Shack that have made Beigeboxing so much easier. And If you can find the  money to invest into some new equipment get yourself one of their mini phones. My phone is so small I can cover the keypad with a quarter. The one I have looks like this:
     = = = \
    /    ()-------------))      <--  HeadSet       
                 -
                 -             
      /-----\    -
      |1 2 3|    -    
      |4 5 6|    -   
      |7 8 9|=====          
      |* 0 #|
       -- --     
 Dialpad |           {}{}      <----- alligator clips
  (DUH)  |           ||||
         |-----------/^/  
        
           
Well you get the idea. The Radio Shack Catalog number for my phone is 43-2100, it goes for about $12, if for some reason you can't find that phone I recommend another Cat No. 940-0763, it goes for $19, I used to own one and it worked great, just don't fall into any water with a high salt content with it, trust me.
  • Tone Dialer: They also call these white boxs, Make one or buy one from Radio Shack or Frys, I would go to Frys for this one because I've seen them for as little as $9.99, I got my dialer from Radio Shack and paid $15.99! They come in really handy when you find a phone thats had its dial pad bashed in or you call a 1-800 number on a COCOT and have them hang up on you and hope it dumps you on a real dial tone with only the key pad locked and not the mic...


The last couple of things you would probable find on me would be a small knife, some candy, my notebook (or should I say Electronic Rolodex, thanks uncle Ray) with a shit load of fun 1-800 numbers... :) and last I would have to say would be a bag of Chee-Tos, you heard me right bitch, I need my Chee-Tos to get in the phreaking mood. And Before I go (Oh you could tell the Chee-toss thing was a exit call, bejesus) I would just like to point out that I wrote this file just to give the common phreak and some of his fellow hobbyists the low down on what some of us are careering around now a days. Well, C-ya.

--- Twisted Faith


Chat Log Happy Fun Time Land
Written by Various Losers

[AOL Instant Messanger - Begin Logging]

hi Im NitePhreak: I just closed the window by accident, could you send me
 that conversationif you havent closed the window yet....
nawleed: um no
hi Im NitePhreak: Ok
nawleed: FUCK YOU TALL GUY
hi Im NitePhreak: Are you mad at me now?
hi Im NitePhreak: I'm not that tall
hi Im NitePhreak: I'm not short, but I'm not really tall
nawleed: yes you are tough guy
hi Im NitePhreak: Compus talll
nawleed: YES YOU ARE
nawleed: TOUGH GUY
hi Im NitePhreak: Im average height
hi Im NitePhreak: How about you?
nawleed: you wanna be tough now tough guy?
nawleed: I'm not that tough
hi Im NitePhreak: when was I being tough?
hi Im NitePhreak: You said tall at first, not tough
nawleed: just now guy!
hi Im NitePhreak: You called me tall guy
nawleed: you're a tough tall guy
hi Im NitePhreak: And i simply explained that I wasnt tough guy
hi Im NitePhreak: Ok un-tough midget guy
nawleed: I'm not a midget, buddy
hi Im NitePhreak: Ye you are
nawleed: NO I AM NOT
nawleed: I AM EIGHT FEET TALL AND SEVEN INCHES
nawleed: TOUGH GUY
hi Im NitePhreak: So you're the tall guy now
nawleed: damn straight jebus
hi Im NitePhreak: Ok, tall un-tough guy
hi Im NitePhreak: Who's jebus?
nawleed: you are guy!
hi Im NitePhreak: Ok tall untough guy
nawleed: WELL OKAY THEN JEFUS
hi Im NitePhreak: Who's jefus?
nawleed: you are jebus
hi Im NitePhreak: Yea, but you said Jefus
nawleed: you're jefus too jebus
hi Im NitePhreak: How can i be both?
nawleed: you're special
hi Im NitePhreak: Why thank you...
nawleed: no problem jebfus
hi Im NitePhreak: Now who the hell is Jebfus?
nawleed: it's a mix between jebus and jefus
hi Im NitePhreak: SO i have 5 names now, I'm realy special
nawleed: no you're not
nawleed: you're adolph hitler
hi Im NitePhreak: Is he the guy that made the Hilton Hotels?
nawleed: no
nawleed: he like, killed jews and stuff
hi Im NitePhreak: Well you're the butcher, he killed cows
nawleed: butchers like, fight for the american way
hi Im NitePhreak: Hitler is dead though
hi Im NitePhreak: So I can't be him
nawleed: no he's not
nawleed: you're adolph hitler
hi Im NitePhreak: American shmamerican
nawleed: and I'm jesus christ
hi Im NitePhreak: No, you're Adolph Hitler, and there's no such thing as
 Jesus christ
nawleed: no YOU'RE adolph hitler
nawleed: and I'm jesus christ!
hi Im NitePhreak: No, YOU"RE ADOLPH HITLER
hi Im NitePhreak: And I'm JEFUS CHRIST
nawleed: FUCK YOU
nawleed: FUCK YOU
nawleed: SHUT THE FUCK UP
hi Im NitePhreak: AND I'm JEBUS CHRIST
nawleed: FUCK JEBUS
hi Im NitePhreak: ANd I'm averagely heighted tough guy
nawleed: FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK
hi Im NitePhreak: And I'm NitePhreak
nawleed: FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKED UP FUCKS
hi Im NitePhreak: And you're n0llid
nawleed: THOSE FUCKED UP FUCKUPS FUCKING SUCK
nawleed: TOLD YOU ONCE YOU STUPID CUNTS
hi Im NitePhreak: and you're rev nawleed
nawleed: THOSE FUCKED UP FUCKUPS ARE FUCKED UP
hi Im NitePhreak: So just be quiet,i was right, you do have te intellect of
 a 5 year old with a potty mouth
nawleed: whatever.
nawleed: YOU GO SQUISH NOW

[AOL Instant Messanger - End Logging]



Session Start: Fri Apr 29 16:04:50 2000
Session Ident: Jessica Girl (*****.*****.*****.net)
<JGirl87> Hi!
<linear> hola, what's up?
<JGirl87> not much.
<linear> I see. By the way, who the hell are you and why are you messaging
me?
<JGirl87> oh sorry, i saw you in #punk and thought i would say hi. i will
leave you alone if you want me to
<linear> No, that's all right I guess.
<JGirl87> oh, okay, good. where you from?
<linear> Uh, California.
<JGirl87> cool, i'm from utah
<JGirl87> whats your name
<JGirl87> hello?
<linear> Oh, uh, sorry, I'm a little slow. I'm Canadian, eh.
<linear> My name is Robert. Robert Baitchen.
<linear> My friends call me Bob Bitchin'
<JGirl87> oh okay.
<JGirl87> You said your canadian, when did you move to the US?
<linear> I didn't, I've never even been to the US.
<JGirl87> so you lied when you said you lived in california??
<linear> Uhm, no... I do live in California. California Alberta Canada. Why,
is there a city named California in the US too?
<JGirl87> well no californias a state in the US
<linear> Oh, sorry. I'm not very good at geology.
<JGirl87> You mean geography?
<linear> Oh, oh yeah. Sorry, I'm kinda slow, I'm canadian, eh?
<JGirl87> okay....
<JGirl87> so, Bob bitching, what bands do you like?
<linear> Don't call me that! How dare you! I'm offended!
<JGirl87> what?? i thought you said your friends call you that
<linear> Don't even talk to me if you're going to use such foul language!
<JGirl87> but you told me to call you that
<linear> FUCK YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!
Session Close: Sat Apr 29 16:16:15 2000


Session Start: Thu Mar 09 17:58:33 2000
<linear> HEY ASSHOLE!
<nawleed> HI
<linear> how's life?
<nawleed> oh, it's... it's okay
<linear> yea, well i hate my girlfriend.
<nawleed> what else is new?
<linear> let's see..... i want [name with-held]
<nawleed> right, right....
<linear> and like, i called her today
<nawleed> mmm hmmm
<linear> but her answering machine picked up, and i was like, relieved.
because i'm too pussy to talk to women.
<linear> i also crax0red her pager code
<nawleed> hehe
<nawleed> wow. you're elite and stuff.
<linear> no no, i'm ijeet
<nawleed> oh, my mistake
<linear> but like, [name with-held] has started to call and stuff again. she
stopped when i started going w/ my girlfriend and started up again after i
told her i wanted to break up with my girlfriend.
<linear> or so it seems.
<linear> so maybe she wants mad sex.
<linear> .....or not.
<nawleed> whoa, your life is like a soap opera
<nawleed> a nerdy, white soap opera
<linear> yea..... i should like, put my life on a live webcam
<nawleed> heh
<nawleed> but that'd just be you sitting in your room wishing you could use
your computer
<linear> ooooh yeah..... and seeing [name with-held] looming through my
masturbatory fantasies like a titan
<nawleed> eww
<linear> i mean, uh.... i mean watch her like, be my friend or something.
<nawleed> I don't wanna hear about your masturbatory fantasies linear
<linear> sorry sir
<linear> one time i beat off in a motel
<nawleed> goddammit
<linear> heehee, okay, that was just beyond the limits of good taste
<nawleed> I don't want to hear about it!@#$
<linear> i told [name with-held] how like, i hate my girlfriend.
<nawleed> what'd she say?
<linear> "take me, linear, take me now!"   "where? i'm low on gas and you
don't have a jacket..."
<nawleed> heehee
<linear> no.... she just wanted to know why and stuff
<linear> i should have been like "well.... because you loom like a titan in
my masturbatory fantasies, [name with-held]."
<nawleed> haha
<nawleed> then she would've been like, "um, I'd better not talk to you
anymore then."
<nawleed> and then I would've laughed at you
<nawleed> or something
<linear> no no no, it would be like   "that's so sweet"   "yea, now sit on my
face, baby..."   "oh linear, you have such a great sense of humor, i think i
will   ::sit:: "
<nawleed> haha
<nawleed> whatever man
<linear> heehee
<linear> tomorrow i'll go to [name with-held] and be like "Hey, let's get
butt-naked and fuck!"
<nawleed> sure you will
<linear> yea..... i'll probably be like "hi....[name with-held]....   
::sweat sweat:: uh, i'll just be on my way....."
<nawleed> yea... you geek
<linear> the other day i was talking to her and i was like "dammit! i hate
girls..... except you of course..." and she was like "uh, what?"    "er....
look over there!" and when she turned around i set her hair on fire to
distract her from what i had just said. it permanently maimed her face, but
it sure did save me from an embarrassing position.
<nawleed> hahaha
<nawleed> sicko
<linear> actually she just kinda laughed and said "yea, i'm an exception of
course...."
<linear> THEN i set her hair on fire.
<nawleed> did you use a lighter or a match?
<linear> lighter of course, nawleed. this IS the 21st century.
<nawleed> actually, it's not
<linear> uhm, yea it is....
<nawleed> the common era began with the year 1, so technically we're still
in the 20th century
<linear> it's 2000 you hoe.
<linear> oh shut up.
<nawleed> it's true
<linear> yea, but it's a technicality.
<nawleed> so? you're still an idiot if you believe this is the 21st century
<linear> stupid wop-diego.
<nawleed> DON'T CALL ME A WOP-DIEGO
<linear> i'm sorry honey, that was way out of line..... will you ever
forgive me??
<nawleed> not until you admit that we're in the 20th century
<linear> fine dammit.
<linear> we're still in the 20th century.
<nawleed> yay!
* linear mutters "asshole".
* nawleed chants, "I'm right and linear's wrong"
<nawleed> oh and hey, what's a wop-diego?
<linear> a wop is racial slur for an itallian.... and so is diego.... only
i think it might be "daygo" but i'm not really sure
<nawleed> oh, so you were calling me an italian...
<nawleed> that's a spicy meatball!
<linear> i wonder how i could like.... find out if [name with-held] like....
wants to evaluate the linear equation.....
* linear shakes his head. that was pathetically lame.
<nawleed> lol
<nawleed> or if she wants to flow with linear motion
<linear> if she wants to see things in linear perspective
<nawleed> heh, yea
<linear> if she wants to watch the linear function
<nawleed> how do you watch a linear function?
<linear> in linear perspective of course, dumbass.
<nawleed> oh.. gee, I don't have a freaking clue how I missed that one
<linear> heehee
<linear> i need to get rid of my girlfriend. i know! we can roll her up in a
carpet and throw her off a bridge! ::giggle::
<nawleed> I don't get it... if you hate her so much then like, why is she
your girlfriend?
<linear> because she isn't my boyfriend, i guess/
<nawleed> uh... okay
<linear> no, i need to break up with her, but like, i have this inability to
change my station in life.
<nawleed> I.... see
<nawleed> you've got problems, linear
<linear> yea, that's what the leprochaun tells me.
<nawleed> holy shit, you see that leprochaun too?!@#$
<linear> yea!$# he tells me to burn things!!!
<nawleed> he tells me to club baby seals!@#%&
<linear> "you've done a good job.... but you know what you have to do now:
burn them! burn them all!"
<nawleed> haha
<linear> tomorrow nawleed, i'm going to do it. i'm going to tell [name
with-held] how i feel....
<linear> smooth. because i use lotion.
<nawleed> ba dum, CHING!
* linear giggles uncontrolably
<linear> "[name with-held]! there's something i need to tell you. i think
you oughta know how i feel: smooth.... that's right... smooth. i use
vasoline intensive care, baby!"
<linear> "oh, linear.... can i sit on your face??"
<linear> "well..... i have a girlfriend...."
<linear> "it's okay.... i can kill her...."
<linear> "excellent...."
<linear> ::sit::
<nawleed> what is it with you and face-sitting?
<linear> face sitting makes the world go 'round!
<nawleed> okay...
* nawleed turns the laughing gas back on
<nawleed> heeheeheehee! hooha! hahahaheheheheh hee! hhahahaha
<nawleed> oh man
<linear> i smell gas.... pleasant gas.... night night gas!
<linear> nawleed...... i must do something about my situation!
<nawleed> yep.
<nawleed> you sure do.
<linear> quick! take this pen.... and jab it into my girlfriend's head.
<linear> !@$#
<nawleed> okay
* nawleed takes this pen and jabs it into linear's girlfriend's head
<linear> woohoo!
<linear> she's dead.
<linear> now, i must take my leave of you.... my face awaits [name
with-held]!
Session Close: Thu Mar 09 18:52:36 2000

Session Start: Fri May 19 03:04:07 2000
*** Now talking in #nsync
*** Topic is 'i'm feenin for you and i don't know what to do, so now you're
near, don't leave me here, cuz i'm so into youuuuuuuu'
*** Set by DeeperShadeOfBlue on Thu May 18 22:18:28
<RTFirefly> hi
*** miaka`yui is now known as `ayane
<RTFirefly> okay so one time Randy Beaman was making funny faces and his mom
said if someone slaps you on the back your face will stay that way and he
kept making faces and then someone slapped him on the back and it stayed
that way.
<`ayane> hi
<`ayane> asl
<RTFirefly> asl?
<`ayane> u 1st
<RTFirefly> me 1st asl?
<RTFirefly> what's a asl?
*** bsb^LINDA^nsync (mw@203.106.90.253) has joined #nsync
*** Furukawa has quit IRC (Quit: Lock your door, that you may keep your
neighbours honest.)
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> hello people
<RTFirefly> hello person
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> hi
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> asl plz
<RTFirefly> you too?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> and yes i am a person
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> 18 f malaysia
<RTFirefly> everyone wants me to asl.
<RTFirefly> what's asl??
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> age/sex/location
<RTFirefly> ewwwwww!!!
<RTFirefly> gross
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> why gross
<RTFirefly> I can't believe someone would want to know the location of my..
<RTFirefly> icky.
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> well it is up to you wather to tell or not
<RTFirefly> now I'm offended
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> i guess it is ok with me
<RTFirefly> ok
<RTFirefly> so what's a nsync then?
<RTFirefly> I saw the room and it says nsync
<RTFirefly> does that mean asl?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> a group
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> no
<RTFirefly> a group of what?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> it is a boy band
<RTFirefly> you mean like singing band?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> yes
<RTFirefly> ohhhh
<RTFirefly> ok
<RTFirefly> so what do they sing, like rap or something?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> you're sure not in your pre teen age
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> they sing pop music
<RTFirefly> I'm in my asl.
<RTFirefly> Pop music.
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> ok
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> yes
<RTFirefly> Like that funk soul brother right about now?  Is that nsync?
<RTFirefly> that's a song I heard
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> no
<RTFirefly> it's a cool song
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> go check out the webby then
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> that is the fat boy slim songs
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> where you from anyway
<RTFirefly> which is he, fat or slim?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> god
<RTFirefly> he can't be both
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> help me
<RTFirefly> I'm from New Mexico
<RTFirefly> Roy, NM
<RTFirefly> so the fat slim guy sang the funk soul brother.
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> yes
<RTFirefly> what does nsync sing?
<RTFirefly> like what song?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> that song called ' rockerfella skunk' or something like
that
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> bye bye bye
<RTFirefly> you're going?
*** `ayane has quit IRC (Write Error: Operation timed out)
<RTFirefly> so nsync sang the rockerfella skunk, how's that go?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> no
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> oh my gos help me
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> no
<RTFirefly> no?
<RTFirefly> no what?
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> never mind that
<RTFirefly> ok..
<bsb^LINDA^nsync> i am leaving nice chatting with ya
*** bsb^LINDA^nsync (mw@203.106.90.253) has left #nsync
Session Close: Fri May 19 03:17:08 2000

[AOL Instant Messanger - Begin Logging]

{{note: Mr Verylongname is Rufus T. Firefly}}

Mr Verylongname: So, as I was saying, what did you do to the donkeys when you
 were finished?
Mr Verylongname: You know, the donkeys?
Mr Verylongname: Donkeys, man, donkeys!
DreamOfWing: Sorry. the user of this computer is on leave now.
Mr Verylongname: oh dear, is it because of something I said?
DreamOfWing: Would you recontact him/her on monday/
Mr Verylongname: who is this?
DreamOfWing: Sorry. contact the right person on Monday.
Mr Verylongname: i mean if you are not the computer user, who are you that
 are using the computer that they are not using?
Mr Verylongname: are you someone who is stealing their computer that you are
 using?
Mr Verylongname: or are you a family member cactus?
DreamOfWing: No kidding please I have bunch of works to do with this
 computer. Sorry again. No message please
Mr Verylongname: so you are a computer thief who is complaining about
 messages that belong to the rightful kitchen owner of the computer??
Mr Verylongname: perhaps I should call the police about the computer thief
 camaro chevette!

Previous message was not received
by DreamOfWing because of error:
User DreamOfWing is not available.

[AOL Instant Messanger - End Logging]

disclaimer

The United Phone Losers are not role models. The things described in this document should never be tried by anyone. In fact, you shouldn't have even read this file. What would your mother say if she caught you reading  this? You make us sick! Oh, and when the authorities ask where you got all this information, just say Cult of the Dead Cow or something.

"Wasn't me, Slim Shady Said To Do It Again!"

United Phone Losers


<-editor->

linear

<-staff->

Jaded                    el caco

Jc

Rufus T. Firefly                 nawleed

http://www.phonelosers.net